So, I was a teen mother. I was engaged, pregnant, married, mommy and divorced all before I turned 21.
When I left my daughter's father, I just wanted out. I wanted everything to be over and done with and I let him manipulate me every which way. I gave him everything and just asked for return of my stuff and my daughter's belongings (of which I probably only got half of it back). He could have the house, the other car, furniture.. everything.
Anyhow, he was an E3 in the military at the time, so he wasn't making much money at the time, so the child support wasn't all that much. I never took him back to court after he got out of the military and was making better money. I didn't want to deal with the drama that would ensue if I did that.
Here are the things that I wish I had known back then.
1. Even if the support order says they are supposed to carry medical/dental/vision insurance on the minor child(ren). The only thing that the child support office will do is send a letter saying that he needs to provide the information. If they don't have them covered, or have insurance that is basically useless where you live, there's not much that can be done, unless you go back to court. Yes, they are in contempt of the order, but you need a judge to do anything about it.
2. If there end up being medical bills at a later time and they are supposed to pay for half of any of those costs, unless there is a money amount that the judge awards in the child support, there's not much you can do if they won't pay. So say you get a bill for the dentist/doctor/optometrist. You need to take a copy of the charges, send it to them within 30 (it might be 60) days with a request for payment. You need to do this in a way that you can prove to the court that you requested the payment from them and they received the request (so certified receipt, etc.). You must do this to show due diligence in trying to collect. If they don't pay, you then will have to take them court and get the judge to award a dollar amount.
3. If you can negotiate it, you should try to get them to agree to cover the child(ren) on their insurance until they have finished school (including college). Sometimes if you are lucky, you can stipulate for them to pay child support while the child(ren) are full time students.
If I had to do it all over again, I would have asked for more support up front. Because if the other parent refuses to help with any additional costs, you are SOL if it isn't in the court order. Remember... ballet, karate, gymnastics, baseball, football, music lessons. All of that stuff costs money! When your child is in high school (or middle school) and their class goes on trips to Washington DC or science camp.. Those cost money too. Those are things you can't account for. Your kid goes off to college, they are 18 and you may be the only one willing to help as much as you can.
I understand the want to get out, be done with it. But in the end, I wish I had the forethought to plan for these things up front. I wish someone would have told me this. Remember, either way, you are going to get out, even if it takes a bit more struggle in the beginning. If you don't do it up front, you will forever be fighting it later on. I don't know how many times I went to ask for more help and was told that I needed to use the money from my child support to pay for any of those things. Was told that housing/food shouldn't be considered part of child support since I needed to have a place to live for myself and I needed to feed myself. Sometimes they just don't get it.
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